Dr. Strangebeard or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Beard

I have been growing a beard for about a month now. I must say that the beard has taken on a life of its own. All my students are asking me why I am growing it. Unfortunately I don’t have a really good answer to give them. I have been growing my beard in conjunction with Mr. Price, a fellow English teacher. I will say that his beard is very extravagant. But that is just because he started before me, long term my beard would pummel his beard.
Finally today Mr. Price and I decided to have a competitive contest around our beards. We are having a canned food drive. Mr. Price has 10th & 11th graders while I have 9th & 12th graders. The winning team, meaning the students, will get to shave their teachers beard and head. The loser will have to keep their beard until February 13th. This is pretty intense. I really can’t lose this thing for a number of reasons. One important reason is I need to get a rep at my school and taking out Mr. Price is a perfect way to go about that. Also there is no way that I can mentally withstand having a beard for another 4 months. The students seemed enthused and it’s for a great cause so hopefully everything works out. Caution: My beard and this contest do not share any views with that of Saddam Hussein. This contest is in no way sponsored or promoted by Saddam Hussien.